We all ask the same question, but at different times in our lives: “Why am I here?” Unfortunately, not all of us are able to answer the question…yet. And most of us that answer today will readily admit that we took the roundabout way to get there [insert random story from your youth]. Some of us may even admit, we got it wrong the first time or two or even right now…but we keep working on it.
Did you know that Nick (sort of ) knew his purpose? He was here to change the world, he just wasn’t certain how yet. It wasn’t the oft-quoted, albeit incorrect, “be the change you want to see in the world” cliché type of purpose. Nick’s was more of work on himself to change the world type of guy. He had ideas about his future, and he was laying the ground work at 15. As I said, he wasn’t finished, but he was putting in the work. He had plans.
Side note: rather than the aforementioned misquote (which by itself is a wonderful message to encourage people to make a difference), Mahatma Gandhi actually said, “We but mirror the world. All the tendencies present in the outer world are to be found in the world of our body. If we could change ourselves, the tendencies in the world would also change. As a man changes his own nature, so does the attitude of the world change towards him. This is the divine mystery supreme. A wonderful thing it is and the source of our happiness. We need not wait to see what others do.”
In other words, in order to make effective change in this world, we must change ourselves first, we must change our perspectives. We must gently nudge the world to mirror us. I’d like to think Nick did just that in his short time.
Without any doubt, I thought I knew Nick’s purpose. I thought I could answer his “why” question. I was certain that we were raising a United States President, a diplomat, or a congressman, but I was incorrect. Nick is gone. It was sudden, without warning. As much as we, as parents, want to keep our children with us, we also want them to live full lives, experience the world, find love, enjoy successes, spread their wings, learn from mistakes, and discover their purpose. We don’t get that with Nick.
Nick is never going to grow up. He will always be 15. He’s never going to change the world like we thought he was going to, like he may have thought he was going to do. But we know he has made an impact and changed the world of at least five people, and also their families and friends. He’s influenced others (as evidenced by his friends and classmates becoming organ donors as they earn their drivers licenses), but he’s never going to be the President, a congressman, a diplomat. Was our son successful? Absolutely. It’s just now how we envisioned it. Is a small part of the world mirroring Nick? You bet. I just wish he were here to see it.